Chandler’s most shady burns ever, you can even use them today

Chandler Bing is arguably Friends' most sarcastic main character, as evidenced by his knack for quick-witted burns. Although he is quick to mock his close friends and really anyone who crosses his path, he is perhaps best known for his self-deprecating burns when he takes aim at himself.

Posted On July 21st, 2021

Nice Camouflage. For A Minute, I Almost Didn't See You

This is a quick line aimed at a random passerby, but it's a great burn because Chandler feels the need to be funny even when he's alone and not trying to impress his friends. He delivers this line completely unprompted, but he does so anyway. Chandler tells the standard joke about anyone wearing camouflage trying to blend in with their surroundings, but the way he tells it is unique.

It Bodes Well For Me That Speed Impresses You

Chandler says this line as a self-deprecating burn as Monica and Chandler begin to become intimate. He's relieved to hear that she doesn't mind things moving quickly in the bedroom because he knows himself and realizes that he's not the best, so he makes jokes at his own expense.

You Have To Stop The Q-Tip When There's Resistance

Joey and Chandler are talking, and Joey is trying to remember when he had his first suit made for him, going back and forth between whether he was 15 or 16, eventually asking Chandler when the year was 1990. Chandler immediately responds with this line, wondering if Joey went a little too far when cleaning out his ears the last time and if he should see a doctor because why would anyone?

I'm Sorry, We Don't Have Your Sheep

Rachel arrives in a poofy pink dress that looks exactly like Little Bo Peep, and Chandler doesn't waste any time saying this line as soon as she walks in the door. Chandler nails the appearance of the dress without ever saying Little Bo Peep, so the joke is spot on. Instead of calling her by that name, he tells her that he doesn't have any of her sheep if that's what she's looking for because the character doesn't have any sheep.

Why Is Your Family Ross?

Because Chandler's family is of Scottish descent, Ross decides to surprise Monica and Chandler with a bagpipe performance at their wedding. Monica and Chandler discover what he's up to and immediately despise it, wishing he'd abandon it. Monica inquires as to why Chandler's family is Scottish, and Chandler, without missing a beat, inquires as to why Monica's family is Ross.

Was That Place The Sun?

Ross returns home with a tan that borders on orange and claims that he was just trying to get a decent spray tan. Everything went wrong, the tan looks awful, and Ross is clearly unhappy. He says Monica suggested the location, and Chandler immediately asks if she meant the sun, given how sunburned and awful he looks.