They have trouble paying attention to the “right” things. They may spend hours playing video games, or tinkering in the basement or writing the Great American Novel. What they can’t do well is control what to pay attention to. If something isn’t inherently interesting to them, it takes a huge amount of effort for them to tune in. For the book, we interviewed one man who felt like he screwed up everything in his life except his parenting, because his late-in-life kids were so important to him, that it was always easy to make them a priority. For another, his children were always having to describe their day two or three times, because he kept tuning out. He didn’t love his children a
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